Human
by dabih
Summary: "If you asked Lily Evans, she'd say that only one of the Marauders was human – but if you asked him, he'd disagree."


**Disclaimer:** Characters and world were created by JK Rowling.

**A/N:** I felt like venturing into the psychology of the Marauders. So here:

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**Human**

If you asked Lily Evans, she'd say that only one of the Marauders was human – but if you asked him, he'd disagree.

Remus Lupin considered himself so far from human and saw himself as a lost cause. Once a month, Remus Lupin was a monster – a werewolf with a vicious need for humans. Humans don't want to devour others. Humans don't lose control of themselves every month under the silver light of a full moon.

Because of this uncontrollable bloodlust Remus Lupin feels during the middle of the lunar cycle, he is isolated. He is shunned from the rest of the magical community just because his father had pissed of Fenrr Greyback, he had to pay the large price for the rest of his life. Every time the tides at it's worst, Remus Lupin is locked inside the Shrieking Shack, tearing at his own, now wolfish, body, because he needs humans to consume.

His worst fear was that someone would find out about his lycanthropy. They'd forget about him and treat him as if the dirt was more valuable than him. He couldn't blame them – he was a monster after all – but it still hurt when someone his considered a friend, a family member, or a romantic interest would decide that he was not worth the struggle.

So when James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew forced their way into his life, and intended to stay, he couldn't say no. He couldn't stop himself form cutting them some slack because after all they've done for him, what's a little indulgence going to do?

Remus Lupin needed his friends, desperately, and it was to be supposed that Fate wanted to rip him apart more than once – that Fate didn't want them together for so long. Fate needed to survive on his own, to learn that he's worth it – to learn that he was human too. Because no matter how he behaved under the unapologetic full moon, he was still a person, with needs, wants, and a life. A life with wishes that wanted to be fulfilled and Remus Lupin – he was just the perfect person for the struggle. He was just the perfect person that needed to understand his strengths.

So, yes, Remus Lupin was human – undeniably so – but it took three friends to show him that.

If you asked Lily Evans, she'd say Sirius Black wasn't human – far from it actually.

If you asked him, he'd agree.

But if you asked his best friends, they'd say he was too human.

Sirius Black was defined at first by his last name. At first glance, people saw a Black, a person part of one of the largest family of blood purists. They thought he was evil just because they had given birth to him, and, most times, he didn't disagree. Sirius Black had yet to understand that he not was defined by his default but by his choices.

According to him, his family was James, Remus, and Peter in everything but blood. His chosen family helped him realize his human qualities, despite his well-known surname. Because the Blacks' didn't treat their heir with the respect he should've received – no, he'd lost that privilege when he had landed himself in Gryffindor. Gryffindor and Slytherin were rivals and constantly at odds. They had opposite beliefs that only served to fuel the loathing in between the two houses

So, abused and neglected at home, Sirius Black's safe haven was with his friends. He felt the pain of each vulgar curse or word from his mother strongly, but he never showed it. He stayed brave and courageous, even through the agony brought on by the Cruciatus Curse. His friends, however, helped him forget – helped him feel wanted.

His upbringing still left imprints on his life. He was living in fear, regardless of the tough façade he usually hides behind. Sirius Black was afraid of being abandoned; always scared of the day everyone would leave him behind. Once, he thought, they found out they shouldn't be mixing with anyone from such a family they'd leave him alone for ever, leaving him to fend for himself.

They never did leave him, no, but he was still terrified and that – that just might just have been his fatal flaw; because without his friends, Sirius Black was already dead.

If you asked Lily Evans, she'd tell you Peter Pettigrew was not human.

Many would agree. His friends, however, would not.

Peter Pettigrew had always been in the shadows of his overachieving best friends. Sometimes he felt dastardly inadequate. They were all exceedingly brilliant and he was stupid. They were all handsome and he was average. They were a stag, a werewolf, and a dog, and what was he? A rat. Everyone saw that he didn't fit in and, no matter how much they say that he's just as great as the rest of them, he knows deep down that he'll never be the first choice next to them.

But he was still human, and had feelings, needs, wants, and a life. His friends may have realized that but he never did. And neither did most people. He was often referred to as just a lackey and it got to him. He wanted to show that he could do something and then he'd live on the winning side of the war while the rest of them died, envying _him_ for a change.

He was human, though, and this last choice – the last he'd ever make – ruined him. This choice to have a mark on his arm that resembled a serpent and a skull changed his life for the worst. He was living day in and day out in constant guilt and fear. Would this be how he repays the people who helped him during his whole childhood? By killing them? Because one piece of information that the Dark Lord received could've killed them all – just like that.

Eventually, his last choice – the choice that ruined his life – killed his best friend and his wife, orphaned a child, landed his best friend in jail, and his other friend was left living a life full of nothing but grief and pain. It was him and his fateful choice that ruined them all.

Yet, he was still human because he felt the grief and the pain and the guilt. Nothing that wasn't human could've felt that degree of sorrow.

If you asked Lily Evans, she'd say James Potter was the least human out of all of the Marauders.

None would agree.

Most would say that James Potter was the most lively person they'd ever had met. He was happy and cheerful, fun and lighthearted, brave and chivalrous, and mischievous and caring.

They'd be correct.

Out of all the Marauders', James Potter was the most human – with the perfect balance of flaws and fine points. Because of this, he was their undeclared leader, the one who helped them all and asked for nothing in return. They all loved him, whether they were willing to acknowledge it or not. They knew that without James Potter, they'd be nothing. He was the one to bring them together – he was the very first.

James Potter was the one light in the dark, even if he didn't know it. He fought for what he believed in and died that same man he was born – James Potter, through and through. He human for everyday of his tragically short existence, and helped others realize that they were human too – that they deserved to be treated as such until proven otherwise.

They supposed it ironic that the one Lily Evans called the least human was the most. The one Lily Evans called the least human was the very person to show her _she_ was human.

They supposed it ironic that James Potter, the most human person they knew, would be the first to meet his end.


End file.
